My Dream come true....

It happened after months of prayer.
I wanted nothing more than to experience this and it happened. I wanted to tell the world but I could not find the words for it until a week later. You are a dream come true, and I am thankful that my dream came true. You walked in the door and although my apartment was dark you lit the darkness. We sat and talked. We laughed and thought. We sat silently and watched television and then burst into laughter. You looked at me and I thought I would melt. I touched you and took you to another place. You asked me if I was nervous and I could only whisper yes. You give me butterflies, and I like it. I have not felt that way in a long time. You kissed me and I lost my breath. You kissed me and I breathed again. You kissed me and I realized my dream was reality. I was speechless. I felt like heaven after just one kiss. You gave me more, and I was unable to get my thoughts together. Something that I had thought of plenty of times in my dreams...I knew what I was going to say and what you would do. However, when you kissed me I was unable to even think. I was unable to move. I was only able to nod my head yes for more and whisper I am okay. You layed me down and again my lips met yours and then the rest of my body. I was not sure what I wanted next since your kiss was all I had ever hoped for. However, your kiss traveled and my body was its welcoming host. You blessed my body, you blessed my mind, you blessed my soul. My dream come true.

There's this guy...

Have you ever heard of the saying...

I saw this guy/girl that was like WHOA...I wish I could have talked to him/her.

Well I have had that happened. I have seen this guy...and he is so sweet. I wish I can talk to him. He does not even know I exist...and as much as I LOVE to talk...I think he is the only guy that I would be at a loss for words if I ever came in contact with him. His smile is outrageous...his voice is fantastic...his eyes are intoxicating....and his laugh is contagious. He seems to be a dream boat...with an terrific personality and character. What I would not give to be able to get to know him. Alas, I am just a face in the crowd. I am a person in a fleeting moment will be gone from his vision.

What is a girl to do??

My thoughts about you right now...

I just want to tie you up and flick cigarette butts at you!
Watch you flinch as you are afraid one of them will get in your face!
Laugh at your pathetic ass until you start feeling the difference...
the difference you may ask?
When you walked in you thought you were ready...
you felt that this was just a game...
then you feel the hatred in my voice
as I verbally make you aware of your worth!
I take my paddle and smack you across the face with it!
It makes me feel so good so I slap your bitch ass again!
"IF you cry I will give you something to cry about!"
I tell you in the most subtle of voice!
I am tired of your look, your style is repulsive
I strip you down into the nothing you are...
and I laugh!
You fucked up now!
I want you to cry...
I want you to beg...
I want you to wish you were dead!!
As you are tied up...arms held high
I take my candle to your underarms
the heat from the flame to the sensitive nerves under the skin
is more than you can bear...
you cry for relief
and don't to your despair!
I switch to the other arm
as you plead for mercy...
I stare at your shameful face...
tears rolling down...
skin red and heated...
I am pretty sure that you are feeling defeated!
That is when I dig in a bit deeper!
I feel that your cock is a worthless piece of shit...
if it was not such a crime I would probably rid you of it!
Since it is then I will do the next best thing...
make it feel EXCRUCIATING pain!
Before your erection your little limp dick
I would take my trusty rat trap to it!
SNAP!
Goes the trap..."Hey look I caught another rat!"
How funny is that!!
You scream in so much pain and asking for release...
but before I do...
one more thing must be done...
Stimulation...yes I must get you that hard on!
My whispers in your ear
of my sweetest desires
the breath on your neck has got you passionately hotter.
I take your mind off the pain that I have just inflicted...
temperature is getting higher and higher
and then you realize there is a block in the line...
Haaaaaaa I am such an evil bitch!!

See you next time!!

Reflections...

I do not normally reflect on the past, it tends to slow down the momentum of my future. However, I must admit...I love it when I can actually stop and go "WoW! I did that?" My video that I have posted here is one of those moments from 2008! I actually broke out of my self abuse and started appreciating what was given to me. I hope to one day just help other women feel good about themselves as I am learning! Well enough mushy shit!! Hope you get all hot and bothered by watching this little clip, and if you do check out my others at My Video Store!

When I dream...

When I dream, I dream in color!
I do not limit myself to the mere black and white of any situation. I sometime find myself mesmerized of all the endless possibilities of what my mind can and will come up with!
I rarely have nightmares...unless you count the other night when I dreamed that I got a REALLY bad case of head lice. And that is weird because I have not ever heard of any African American treating lice. I dreamed that I was devastated and that I had to do something, because I was not going to comb through all of my thick ass hair with a itty bitty comb! So I started cutting...and cutting...until I was about done with a fourth of my head. All I had was about 2.5 inches of wavy hair on my head. I was so shocked at what I was doing. Then my shock turned into tears...I did not know how my fiance would act. So I stated that he should love me no matter what...but I did not want the lice to ruin my lovely scalp! So I continued to cut and I loved it, and hated it all at the same time!
I really do not know what that means, but there you have it!