Thursday, February 26, 2009

Just a thought...

I have been conversing with my 1st live in sub...I am thinking about having him back into my life! He is so devoted to me! I really think that he has matured and is ready to serve me completely again! Well he has never stopped wanting to, but I needed a break. I wanted a "normal" vanilla life. I do not see that happening anytime soon. I am just not wired that way. I love the man in which I am in love with, but I can not be put into a box.

I enjoy having my domestic pet. I love having him around because he gives me everything my little wicked heart desires! He has been asking to come back into my life, but my requirements for him at this point is that he needs a steady 9 to 5. He will not just be my live in...he will maintain an apartment within a 5mile radius from me. He will be on call at all times! He will maintain the up keep of my apartment and the upkeep of his! He will also be my errand boy...and if I want him to he will be my sexual toy that I can do whatever sadistic thing I pleased! I am IM'ng him now...I love know that he still pledges his undying devotion no matter what he has been through and who he has been with! I am still his QUEEN!

:well i am happy to know that i mean that much to you...i do not understand how...but i am happy to know that
robertmaximos:i know what u mean n u truly deserve da best. i also want a 2nd chance if i deserve that. no more playin games n nomore bs. i wna treat u rite n u still my QUEEN no matta what thru thick n thin.
:that is true! i want the best from anyone that is around me...but i keep getin 2nd best! i hate to settle for 2nd best either
robertmaximos:i know u dnt, but i know 1 want whats best 4 u n ur kids n u want 2 b happy n u want da best, i know that 4 a fact.
robertmaximos:yeah i told u 2 stay positive n 2 keep ur head up n2 stay strong n when i felt down, u told me 2 do da same n i still love da poem u wrote me.
:well i just do not know what i want right now
robertmaximos:ur welcome. im glad im cheering u up n now i feel betta to. im still n love wit u just so u know that. i just want to make u happy not feelin down. u use 2 tell me da sme n made me eat da same words.
:thank you robert!
robertmaximos:ur welcome n i wrote that just 4 u. im trying 2 cheer u up. i dnt know what else to say. this is da new me. im just tryin 2 xpress my love 2 u n how i feel. ur my Empress Scorpio Goddess, my Queen.
:thank you
robertmaximos:1 last thing b4 i get offline. 2 da world u may b 1 person, but 2 1 person ur da world. u mean da world 2 me, my heart cries out 4 ur heart, 2 hearts make 1, ur my Beautiful Queen 4eva n eva n i luv u
:i will get home about 730
robertmaximos:i apologize if im makin u mad since ur not sayin nothin. im gna get offline then.
robertmaximos:what time do u get home tonite? im not gna give up on u, just do not give up on me. u n i need to talk n would love to talk to u n person to. if u eva wna talk.
robertmaximos:oh no u will. im right here n ur corner. im not going anywhere. im gna write a song for u using ur display name. im gna call u to nite regardless.
robertmaximos:u can trust me. i know what u mean im da same way. im still her 4 u. rememba what i said, keep ya head n stay positive, just stay strong.
:well i guess i will not be hearing from you anymore...
:i do not know...i do not know who to trust right now
robertmaximos:i apologize. well when may i c u again?
:do not cal me boo
robertmaximos:i know. but i really do wna cya, i really do...i know u still n g*********t n i have friends out there to. i just wna cya. i miss u boo. just let me n.
: robert...you are wasting your time! i am not in the same place and until i want to be found you will not be able to find me
robertmaximos:u know what i am gna go down there, im just gna wait 4 my ride because i also wna cya. im makin an effort 2 come c u. im gna hold u n my arms like neva b4.
:do not waste your time coming down here...you will not find me!
robertmaximos:what are u talking about? do not make me find a ride down there now cuz i will but wnt have a way back unless my friend waits for me n my ride will be here at 4 n i will go down there.
:if i do not answer...you already know why!
robertmaximos:ima call u tonite, i dnt wna see u like that n im gna talk to u bout, im right here for u, stop tryin to push me away, i wna help n be there for u.
:i am going to be out of touch in the near future...so peace!!
robertmaximos:i know what u mean n i do have lots of patience.
:Robert...i do not want to talk right now...but i am a vexed soul and it will take someone very strong with patience to deal with my soul
robertmaximos:im tryin to show more action n even if i had to find a way down there to prove it to u i will.
:you did let me know how you felt and i am still waiting for someone to step to the plate...less talk more action!
robertmaximos:some gay guy just tried to hit on me on here. i tried letting u know how i felt n i still love u to.
:sure i guess...
robertmaximos:i know n im gna have a steady job. ima call u tonite when u get off or u call me so we can talk more about it.
:you have to have stability robert! a good job is a must and love for me and only me!
robertmaximos:shit i really do want u back n my life n will do whateva it takes to get u back.
robertmaximos:i cnt wait to get my own landscaping business. y u not happy, im here to listen to u.
:hey robert! i am not happy right now! but i will be okay! how are you?

What should I do?

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