Whewwww...

So it has been along time...I have not posted to much on here! I am so frazzled at this time...so many things good and bad that seem to just have me on edge. I feel like I have so much to do and so little time to do it! I am a bit bummed that this weekend was the weekend that I was to marry my fiance...but it is not going to happen. WAIT...WE ARE STILL TOGETHER...but I do not have the confidence anymore that we will be together in marriage. He says he loves me...but I do not know if he can deal with me...the type of person that I am and all of the shit that comes along with the territory! They say if you love each other that is all that matters...well I think that they who said that must have been the most niave person on earth. I am certainly not seeing that...I know that it takes alot of work...but because of the type of person I am I do not think that most men can handle. Oh well I just pray for the best...

On another note...I am! Yep that is all I can say is that I am! I want to feel like I can do anything but there are times that I just can not...I cannot seem to muster the stregnth. I was not designed to work like all the other females. I seem to just be on some kind of battery that keeps on going and then just when I think that I am going to go...fizzle away...just completely dissolve...BAAAMMMM!!